Consciousness is the ability to release the old and embrace the
new with the awareness that all things end at the appropriate
time and that all things begin at the appropriate time.
– Carolyn Myss
I have suffered, so completely, throughout my life in times of loss.
The loss of my first real, adult relationship rendered me a blubbering mess for weeks. How could he leave me? How could he just walk away like that?
The loss of my Gram when she died. She was more a mother to me than my mother. It left a hole in my soul when she moved on, leaving me behind.
When I was forced to move eleven hours away from the best friend I'd ever had up until that point. The one person I felt understood me. How did they expect me to just pick up and move on, all by myself?
And there's SO many more instances. So much more loss and pain that I've felt through my short life. It's easy for me to understand how people come to completely identify with that pain and loss they experience and become less. How they can let that loss carve a hole into them that stands forever a gaping chasm in their lives. I can understand.
I experienced a shift in my consciousness when I was about 21. A shift that forever changed the way I perceived all loss from that day, forward. It was the most deeply profound moment of my lifetime and I'll never forget the staggering reality that it left behind.
I knew I could have been saved so much pain had I had this realization years earlier, but I understood at that point that I had to reach a place of contentment first. I had to be happy to be where I was before I could realize the beauty that was the pain I had suffered.
How can pain and loss be beautiful? How can it be divine in its heart wrenching misery?
I realized, very suddenly, and with amazing clarity, that if I had not been through each of those losses and experienced each of those miseries, the path I was walking would have forked me off into another direction.
Each pain was a crossroad in my life where I gathered my faculties and made choices. Where I changed and grew and became this wonderful woman that I was in the process of becoming.
Had I not become her... Had I not took those steps and felt those things and found the new, and unexpected path beneath my feet... I could not have ended up at this particular destination. This beautiful, fulfilling, loving, accepting, warm, and wonderful destination.
I stopped looking back on my pain and using it as the definition of my shortcomings. I stopped defining my lack by my loss.
I began to see that it was actually my happiness that was defined by my loss. It was the indescribable joy I was living in that was the result of my loss, because I wasn't actually lacking anything.
We are spiritual beings, here on earth, having this human experience. Loss is form. Where there is form, there will inevitably be loss. But our joy in this experience isn't based on our possession of form, for that only sets us up to experience loss.
Our joy is based upon the growth that we experience through loss. Upon our seeing that all things, gain AND loss, have conspired and are always conspiring to bring us to the place of our ultimate joy. Our ultimate realization that our own happiness IS the reason for the happening of all things.
Great Titles by Carolyn Myss
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Anatomy of the Spirit
The Seven Stages of Power and Healing |
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Defy Gravity
Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason |
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| Archetype Cards |
