yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which
may take some time, you are fierce with reality.
– Florida Scott Maxwell
Taking responsibility is the key element to conscious creation in my opinion. And it's the spot where many get stuck.
Many want to move forward and create wonderfully fulfilling things in their lives, not because they have the power to or because they long to create a peaceful, joyous, life, but because a collection of people in their lives have done "these" things to them and caused them "this" unhappiness and they deserve to be happy so they're asking God to undo the feelings that have been done to them.
That's not going to get you far.
How can one create now when they deny their creative power? Because if you refuse to see how you created your past, you will never be able to create your future in a satisfactory way. You'll always be depending on someone elses feelings or actions to guide your creation.
And that's not creating for yourself. That's creating for them.
Now, before anyone sends me hate mail, let me say that I don't really believe that children "attract" abuse into their lives. They don't CREATE abuse for themselves.
However.... speaking as someone who WAS abused as a child, I can tell you this; I would not... COULD NOT be THIS version of me without that period in my life. I have come to embrace it. I accept responsibility for it. Not as its creator, but as the creator of the life which sprung from it.
I reached a point when I was about 20 when I realized that I didn't even know who I was. I'd been so busy up until that point, thinking what they said I should and acting like they said I should and REacting like they said I should, I never took control of myself and acted in ways authentic to ME.
But I didn't even know what WAS authentic to me. I'd never BEEN ME. I'd been a "teen mother" and a "survivor of abuse" and a "rape victim" and a "big sister" and a "good daughter" and a "teen aged hooligan" and a "pot head" and a "partier" and a "hardass" and a text book case of the result of my abuse. I was who they said I was.
Don't blame me for my life and my attitude. I was abused as a child.
But one day it just suddenly became so clear to me. You have to let GO. You have to let the past BE in the past and stop choosing to relive it over and over. You have a choice in what you think about. You have control of yourself and your life and your attitude and your choices. Failing to CHOOSE is still CHOOSING!
Being connected to everyone else in the Universe can make for some sticky manifestations sometimes. Your creation, in my opinion, isn't so much about what happens to you, but more what you create FROM what happens to you. Your creation is what a situation brings forth from you and who you become as a result of that stimuli.
From MY abuse, I created consciousness, compassion, empathy, understanding, love, authentic self, joy....
I send my "abuser" love anytime I think of him. After all, if he HAD more love in HIS life, and had HE not been abused as a child, then he'd have had something more loving to give to me. He blames. He has accepted no responsibility for his past OR present, so his creation is a bit skewed and uncomfortable for him.
I feel sorry for him. I wish for him, love. I wish for him to realize his own power. Someday, possibly not until his LAST day, he will realize his Self and I hope he finds peace in It.
This is my truth. This is my reality.
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